the parallels of gardening and grief
Whilst many people partake in tending to their own gardens as an enjoyable past-time, the profound effect gardening can have on grief and healing cannot be overlooked. A popular and symbolic way to remember a loved one, is through planting a tree or flowers in their name with or without cremation remains beneath. However, there is considerably more to the growth of plants in the healing process than just simply taking in their beauty. The nurturing of gardens and wildlife can have a deep effect on the process of healing following death. From the psychological to physical, getting out into the garden has a variety of positive effects on the body and at a time of loss, we can draw many parallels with nature and the journey of grief.
Whether you own a large garden or just a few pots on a window ledge, partaking in growing anything, can help you to reconnect with the circle of life. Focusing on sensory experiences, whilst simply potting a plant promotes mindfulness; our hands spreading the soil, smelling the flowers as they bloom and listening to the sounds of nature in the quiet moments. This presence, of being in the moment, can alleviate anxiety and promote emotional well-being by keeping your mind focused for short bursts which will, with time, stretch into longer periods.
Engaging with nature provides a sense of control, which can be lacking at a time of loss, allowing you to make decisions, create, and nurture life. Becoming a tangible representation of the healing process, it acts as a reminder that just as nature perseveres and thrives, so too can you find strength, growth, and beauty in your own journey.
Whilst also improving overall mental and emotional well-being, gardening provides a healthy outlet for emotional expression, channelling anger, or frustration into constructive tasks such as digging, pruning, or planting. In addition, this physical activity releases endorphins, a natural mood booster and can help alleviate the physical symptoms of grief, such as tension, stress, and fatigue. The rhythmic and repetitive patterns of nature can have a calming effect on the body and mind.
Gardening holds profound symbolic significance that resonates with the process of grief. Just as plants go through cycles of growth, transformation, and renewal, those experiencing grief navigate a process of healing, transformation and finding meaning in the face of loss.
To begin, we see a gardener clear the space for transformation. After loss, the bleak emptiness can be symbolised by this clear space, with seemingly no beautiful growth or hope for the future. A bare patch of soil that is barren and devoid of the colour and joys of life. After significant loss, life can feel like this, with the feeling of guilt creeping in for even the tiniest patches of sunshine that dance across the soil.
At the appropriate time, a landscaper will then look to plant seeds and bulbs in the clearing, knowing that the frost and hardest of times have passed. In the same way, after loss and hardest time, we can start to sow hope and embrace the possibility of new beginnings. However, just like seeds, these hopeful intentions require nurturing, patience, and care to grow and flourish.
In spring we then see the first tiny shoots appear in the garden, slowly but surely growing, just like the early stages of healing when glimpses of hope can be found. As the months pass, we reach summer with an abundance of growth and beauty, which can be appreciated once more. After those abundant summer months comes autumn, where just like a tree losing its leaves, we can let go and release feelings that no longer serve us. Finally, winter, a period of rest, allows time for reflection and inner growth.
During the changing seasons, constant improvement takes place with the pruning of dead or overgrown plants and shoots. Similarly, in grief, certain emotions may need releasing along with attachments or expectations. This pruning allows space for new growth and the emergence of a transformed self.
We watch as nature battles with adverse weather conditions or challenging growth conditions, yet still finds a way to survive and flourish. In grief, adapting to changes and finding strength within us to push forward, knowing that with it will come a time to thrive once more.
Gardens exhibit beauty in their diversity and imperfections. Similarly, the journey of grief encompasses a range of emotions, memories, and experiences. It acknowledges that healing and growth can coexist with pain and sorrow. Just as a garden is a tapestry of different colours, shapes, and textures, grief embraces the complexity of emotions and the richness of memories.
Finally, being able to admire what has bloomed from a tiny seed or bulb and the new life that is sustained by what has grown, offers a sense of accomplishment; providing the chance to reflect on the progression made, the lessons learned, and the personal growth experienced. Butterflies, bees, birds, and other insects may begin to appear, and with them a sense of fulfilment. What began with grief and loss, has sustained new life in many ways. No matter how humble the growth that stemmed from grief is, the association with positive healing and remembrance will last forever and provide a tranquil and calming space to reflect.
Article by Gabriella Mitchell
Scattered Blooms: www.scatteredblooms.co.uk
