During my time as a funeral celebrant, I encountered a recurring challenge: telling someone’s life story with limited information, often gathered at speed and under emotional strain. In many cases, those who had been closest to the deceased could only offer fragments — a few anecdotes, sporadic dates or incomplete memories — while the rest had to be inferred or quietly filled in. Sometimes names were mispronounced, timelines unclear, or stories felt too vague to do justice to the person being honoured.
These moments left a lasting impression. They were rarely the fault of the families involved; more often, they were a reflection of the simple truth that we don’t always know the full story of those we love. And that’s what led me to create Eulonique — a service designed to help individuals write their own eulogies in advance, so that their voice, their perspective, and their values are not lost in the silence that follows their passing.
The idea of writing one’s own eulogy may sound sombre or confronting. It is often misunderstood as something reserved for those who are terminally ill or unusually preoccupied with death. But in reality, this practice is less about mortality and more about legacy. It invites reflection, encourages clarity, and allows someone to shape how they are remembered — not in a self-important way, but with honesty and intention.
Most of us share our stories in bits and pieces — a favourite memory here, a proud moment there. But rarely do these fragments come together into a coherent whole. When the time comes to write a eulogy, loved ones often find themselves asking: What really mattered most to them? What would they have wanted us to say? Writing a eulogy in advance helps answer those questions. It allows for a more complete portrait — a chance to capture not just facts and milestones, but the emotional tone of a life lived.
Of course, the eulogy is just one element. There are also readings, music and the choice of who speaks on the day. Increasingly, people are thinking about these decisions well before the time comes, particularly those who have pre-paid their funeral arrangements. Yet even with the logistics covered, the content of the ceremony is often left until the last minute, placing pressure on grieving families to fill in the gaps.
Helping individuals to articulate their own story in advance offers not just reassurance, but relief. It lifts some of the emotional weight from those left behind, while also ensuring the tone and content of the ceremony reflect the life being celebrated.
At Eulonique, we support clients through this process, whether they arrive with a clear message in mind, or simply a desire to not leave things unsaid. What matters is not just what’s included, but how it’s expressed. Our role is to guide, to listen, and to help shape something authentic — a message written in their own words, held safely for when it is needed.
This kind of preparation may not make death any easier to face, but it can bring peace, clarity, and a sense of agency. In a profession where we so often speak for others, it’s worth considering how powerful it can be when someone is able to speak for themselves.
Because ultimately, this isn’t just about death. It’s about life.
By James McCoy,
Founder of Eulonique
