Supporting Loved Ones through Memorial Commissioning
Over the past few centuries, the process of saying our final goodbyes has changed significantly. Society has moved away from the traditional mourning rituals that once brought us together as a community, but that is hardly surprising since we are not particularly good at talking about death and dying, it has become such a taboo subject.
In contrast, look at how prepared we are to welcome a new life into the world. There is something quite unique as we gaze down upon the perfect little human being, often thinking about what they will become, yet we are not prepared for the end of life even though it is enviable. When faced with our mortality and the fragility of life, grief and sadness can easily overwhelm us, but we must also find comfort in the memories of the life lived. It is an emotional journey, but one that can ultimately bring us closer together.
Looking back over many centuries, you get an understanding of how differently we approached life and death. Our communities would come together to say our final goodbyes, finding solace in shared grief and collective support. However, as our society has evolved, so too has our approach to mourning, we seem to be surrounded by rules, etiquette, and what is expected of us, and often we have a feeling of disconnect and loneliness at such a vulnerable time.
I can’t help but think it is very disjointed, with no real cohesion or handover. In a perfect world, the end-of-life process would be meticulously coordinated, where the bereaved can find comfort in knowing they are being supported through the entire journey, just as a new mother would be supported with her precious new life. This could be done thoughtfully with professional help and support groups, both in person and online. Additionally, individuals could benefit from having access to resources that provide information and guidance.
Commissioning a Memorial – The Alternative Way
When memorialising our loved ones, we often associate it with the traditional notion of a headstone in a cemetery. However, it’s essential to remember that you have the freedom to choose a different path, one that truly reflects the unique essence of the person you are honouring. You can commission anything you like as a memorial, be it a piece of jewellery, a sculpture, a painting, or even a headstone if that holds significance for you.
Of course, a headstone may also be the choice that resonates with you, as it holds a sense of tradition and permanence. In this case, you can go beyond the ordinary and design a headstone that is a true reflection of your loved one’s personality—a distinctive marker that stands as a lasting tribute for generations to come, so picture yourself wandering through a cemetery, a place filled with an incredible array of unique sculptures and artwork, each one meticulously crafted to serve as a beautiful tribute to the person it remembers. Just imagine how fascinating and inspiring that would be!
When Nature Inspires You
Transforming your garden into a sanctuary, a place of reflection, is a beautiful way to honour your loved one. Imagine a secluded corner, embraced by nature, where solace and tranquillity await.
Curate an atmosphere that resonates with their spirit. Create a peaceful seating area surrounded by vibrant flowers and lush greenery, inviting you to unwind and connect with memories. Incorporate elements of personal significance, like a memorial plaque with a heartfelt message or a favourite quote. A small fountain can provide a soothing soundtrack.
Symbolic trees or flowers add living remembrance. Choose varieties with special meaning or ones evoking peace. As they grow, they become a testament to enduring presence.
Integrate meaningful objects or mementoes, such as cherished artwork or treasured items. Design the space with privacy in mind, allowing for calm and contemplation. Soft lighting creates a soothing evening ambience.
Let your heart guide you as you infuse the space with love and intention. May it become a sanctuary that brings you comfort, serenity, and a renewed bond with your loved one.
The Mindful Journey
There is so much to consider, and often the most straightforward hurdle to overcome is where to start. My clients want something different and often challenge me to fulfil their vision. My passion lies with British stones and slate as well as collaborating with other artists and artisans as I work with clients to look at different ways to tell their stories.
The most important part of what I do is being with my client as they embark on their journey of creating their final gift for their loved one. I am not a bereavement counsellor, but I am happy to natter over a cup of coffee. I think maybe this is what is missing in a world that is so disconnected by technology… a personal connection, an opportunity to process and make sense of things in a safe and non-judgmental environment.
By Michelle Smith
