In the Funeral Celebrancy world, I find that there is a great deal of emphasis on the content of the eulogy. But what if after 24 years of officiating funeral ceremonies, I was to tell you that 90% of the ceremonies I officiate nowadays, won’t include anything like the traditional eulogy? Would that surprise you?
Many of us deem it necessary to eulogise because we believe “that’s what we do at funerals,’ or ‘that’s how we were trained!” But what if I were to tell you that that hasn’t always been the case?
A little history lesson on ritual and ceremony may offer some insight here.
The History of Ritual and Ceremony
The oldest known acts of human ritual date back 70, 000 years. So, it seems the act of ritual has provided a common thread that has linked humanity throughout the ages.
History has proven in many cases that ritual can motivate and move us to something or somewhere beyond the tangible existence of day-to-day life. Through it we make life’s transitional moments meaningful and mark important events in our lives.
Ritual was often linked to religious beliefs and were used to honour gods and goddesses, or to mark important events in the life of a community. In ancient Egypt, for example, ceremonies were held to honour the gods, whilst in ancient Greece, they were used to mark transitional moments such as weddings and funerals.
In addition to religious ceremonies, secular ceremonies have also been used throughout history. For example, in the UK, coronations are held to mark the ascension of a new monarch, while comparatively speaking, in the US, the inauguration of a new president is marked with a formal ceremony.
The Coronation Service does include a series of meaningful words, but it is also luxuriant in symbolism and ritual to celebrate very important moments in national history.
In any case, ritual finds expression in a series of representational actions and symbolism. And while many will discuss it nowadays as irrelevant, the act of ritual is in fact essential to our human existence and will remain so for as long as humanity exists. It helps define who we are.
Over time, ceremony has evolved and adapted to changing cultural values. In addition to theseshifts, there have also been changes in the way that ceremonies are conducted. For example,in many cultures, funeral ceremonies are now held in more informal settings such as hotels or crematoriums, rather than in traditional places of worship, allowing for more personalisation, making them more accessible to people.ore accessible to people.
It seems we need ritual to be a part of our lives, if, for no other reason but for our emotional and spiritual wellbeing. If delivered well, they generate love, and have the power to console us beyond the use of words.
Contemporising Ritual
Funeral ceremony rich in symbolism, and which takes a multi-sensory approach to remembering someone we love, is not only more engaging but can have far-reaching implications.
Filling ceremony space with words, and perhaps a little music to break the monotony up, is, in my opinion, wholly inadequate and defies what makes us fundamentally human. Bearing in mind that the average human attention span is 8.25 seconds. And so, delivering a 10-minute-long eulogy within a 20-minute ceremony just doesn’t cut the mustard. As important as words are, it is how they are used to enhance the ritual that matters, not the other way around.
Eulogy means to ‘praise.’ Formed from the Greek roots eu ‘good’ and logos ‘word.’ The modern use of the word was first documented in the 16th century, and so, relatively recent. In essence, the eulogy is meant to be a means of acknowledging a loved one’s achievements and attributes.
Over time, the eulogy has evolved into a version of This Is Your Life, a British biographicalTV Show based on a 1952 American idea. In the UK, the show was hosted by Eamonn Andrews. Ironically, many officiants deliver the eulogy in a similar fashion, with their customary work tool, the big book, held in hand.
I’m not convinced that eulogy was ever meant to be at the centre. Ceremony has been such an important part of human culture for so long, and its history is as varied and diverse as the cultures that have practiced it. It is time, I believe, to find new and modern ways of bringing the act of ritual into the centre, where it belongs.
From religious rituals to secular ceremonies, the purpose of ceremony has always been to mark important moments in life, to honour the dead and to celebrate special occasions. It is time to learn the lessons of our human history and find new innovative ways of engaging those principles.
Today, ritual and ceremony continue to be an important part of our lives, allowing us to come together and celebrate our shared experiences. But we must get it right, otherwise, as William Stafford writes:
…If you don’t know the kind of person I am.
and I don’t know the kind of person you are.
a pattern that others made may prevail in the world.
And following the wrong god home, we may miss our star.
Article by Steve Game-Blackmoor
Steve Game-Blackmoor is a Multi-Award-Winning Funeral Officiant and Grief Specialist serving the Midlands.
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