There is something about being in the presence of someone taking their last breath. Two sacred events that change our life or perspective forever: Watching a baby come into this world and the other, being in the presence of someone transitioning out of this world. Birth and Death are two ends of a spectrum, one thought as a miracle, and the other deemed dark and undesirable. Knowing that as soon as we decide to exist in the womb, we take our first step towards death, a few days on earth or living into our nineties. Our bodies are mortal, borrowed until our purpose is fulfilled. This impermanence is all around us; we are part of nature, and nature constantly shows us evolution, change, and impermanence. We are all interconnected, in this circle of life, woven in the framework of the universe, and we are constantly evolving together, collectively following and moving to the rhythm and dance of birth, life, and death.
To look back in history, around the world and their practices during the death process and after. The Gods and Goddesses that represented death, destruction and underworld. These ancient civilizations with folklores and stories where death was openly talked about and accepted to be part of life. Where death and life were equally celebrated with the whole village or communities followed by rituals, traditions, and ceremonies. When a longer time was taken to mourn and be with the pain. Do you ever wonder, when did we stop accepting death as part of life?
As far as I can remember, I’ve been really intrigued, curious, even fascinated by Death. There is something about death and me, I would say, following many experiences and synchronistic events throughout my life around friends or loved ones passing. But it was after my Dad’s transition in 2010 that I truly started exploring Death and Dying. I was devastated, felt lonely, depressed, filled with emotions of regrets, guilt, fears, anxiety, anger and insomnia. That’s when I started to look back at my dad’s journey and his legacy. This was a turning point in my life. I wanted to know: What would be my legacy? How will I make a difference? Do I matter? Having existential crisis of my own, digging deeper into the meaning of life, what am I here to do? What is my purpose? I decided to take responsibility of my life, be aware and make conscious choices without regrets. I started taking time for myself and invested in my well-being. Making self-care a priority.
My experiences set me on a journey to find out all I could about Death, grief, loss, the circle of life and liberation. I realized that most of us are fearful of death, the unknown, that it could be violent, it brings suffering, and pain. Ultimately, we fear being alone in our final moments and leaving behind our loved ones. I found that with immense love, there is immense grief. The thing about grief is, there is no set date and time to start or finish. And all grief is complicated, messy, and hard. We will continue to love, miss, and grieve our loved ones until our last breath. But suffering is an opportunity to transform, shift and change our perspective. It’s a chance to see things differently, see life and death in a different light. Life can be as hard and painful as we make it or as loving and easy as we wish. And death is really about life and living until the last breath we take. The choice is ours, we have to give ourselves permission to feel everything, to go through it and not around it.
Last year I was intuitively guided to an End of Life Doula program. I knew instantly that I wanted to assist with replacing fear with knowledge and encourage caregivers to create legacy project to find their purpose. Furthermore, have meaningful, open conversations in the world about death and dying, most importantly about life and living. The wish is for individuals to embrace death so they can live fully without regrets or pain.
The process of death, of returning home, is one of the most personal and sacred transitions we will experience in our lifetime. This year, I had the honor and privilege of leading a collaborative book, ‘Sacred Death: 25 Tools For Caregivers’ written by twenty-five authors. Through this book, all the leading experts have joined hands to share their personal experiences, expertise, and have offered many tools to cope with the suffering, bewilderment, grief and the despair –and to shift your perspective on death and dying. Our hope is that you find in this book a whole new way to unravel the great mystery called death. And counter any fear, angst or overwhelm normally associated with the process of death and bring solace, awareness, and empowerment to experiencing or witnessing the transition.
This book is dedicated to anyone who is experiencing the death process in any manner, whether it is someone in the midst of their own personal journey, a family member or friend assisting a loved one, a volunteer offering their time and service, or a medical staff member whose life work is to help others in this grand transitioning of soul into spirit world.
The purpose is to offer different perspectives to help the caregivers who are witnessing their loved ones through death process or moving through grief. The authors have worked through grief in productive and inspiring ways, some have looked for ideas in ancient times and cultures to move through pain and suffering. Hope you can resonate with one or few of the authors, their story and the tool. But it is not our intention to impose our vision on you. Death is personal, private and one of the few sacred processes we encounter. As we explore the death process, we must also understand life.
And to live fully, allow yourself to become vulnerable, authentic, real and transparent. It’s ok to ask for help, to delegate, to step away from it all for a while. It’s ok to say No. Don’t be afraid to feel and express all emotions. Do it your way unapologetically. Give yourself permission to grieve, to mourn and take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. Remember there is no wrong or right way to move through grief, loss, death or even life. Death changes life. Be gentle with yourself and others as you learn this new being you are becoming.
With this book, we have also created a Facebook group called Sacred Death Community where all the author experts are hanging out to help answer any of your questions and provide you with live training. Come join us in this safe space to do this work of healing.
Hemali V. Vora, MPT, is an expert holistic practitioner, intuitive energy healer, a spiritual mentor, speaker and author. Her mission is to empower healthcare workers and caregivers towards radical self-care, unconditional self-love, and reclaiming their power to counter care-givers burn-outs, overwhelm and stress. She guides them to their unique legacy blueprint by tapping into their inner wisdom and living an aware life. According to her, nutrition, movement, emotional, energy, spiritual and shadow work play a vital role in healing dis-ease, dis-harmony, pain and traumas. She also provides comprehensive support, comfort and guidance to clients and their families with end of life transitions, legacy projects, preparations and through bereavement process. She educates communities on the importance of advance care planning for end of life to achieve comfort and peace.
Hemali has co-authored in
The Ultimate Guide To Self-Healing Techniques
Ch 10: Mindful Eating: Using Food As Medicine
The Ultimate Guide To Self-Healing Volume 4
Ch 20: Legacy Work: Living Life With Intention And Purpose
Follow Hemali
www.instagram.com/_happy_healthy_u,
www.youtube.com/c/HealingCorner,
