We are proud to publish this article about aspects of coping with sleep during bereavement from the perspective of widow, Sara Bailey. Sara sadly lost her husband and would very much like to help others in the same position as her. Please take a moment to read her words, we hope they help.
Ask yourself what YOU can do to sleep better through grief
Grief is a time of intense changes. You don’t feel like yourself and the tough emotional and physical realities often make it hard to sleep. Grieving the loss of a loved one is a process that you can’t rush, but understanding what’s keeping you up and changing some routines can help you rest better.
Is your bedroom a relaxing space?
When your thoughts and feelings are keeping you up, you must quiet your mind to relax and sleep. Don’t underestimate the power of your environment to impact these feelings. This is especially important if you have lost your spouse. Redecorating your bedroom can make it feel more tranquil and give you a sanctuary that is all your own. Start by choosing a colour for your bedroom walls that is more conducive to sleep. Earth tones and lighter colours are soothing, whereas bright colours are energising and could interfere with sleep. The add accessories and comfortable bedding in complimentary soothing tones.
Are you comfortable at night?
Comfort may sound minor when grief makes it hard to sleep but you want to do everything you can to eliminate problems. Many people don’t realise that they’re using the wrong type of mattress for their sleeping position, and getting the right one may be part of the solution. You may also want to check the temperature in the room. Our bodies are programmed to sleep when the temperature is lower at night. Replicate that natural temperature drop by setting your thermostat lower.
Are you working with your body’s natural sleep rhythms?
Even when you’re going through a tough time like grief, our bodies have natural rhythms that regulate sleep. When sleep habits are erratic your sleep pattern gets out of balance. Going to sleep at a consistent time and having a regular bedtime routine is the best way to get that rhythm back on track. It may take a few nights of sticking with your routine for your body’s internal clock to catch on, so be consistent.
Does your bedtime routine include relaxation?
Not only should your bedtime routine be consistent, it also needs to be focused on relaxation. To start, be mindful of what does NOT promote relaxation. Using electronics before going to sleep, and even having them in your bedroom, is not conducive to relaxing. Screens emit blue light that interferes with your natural sleep cycles. Not to mention, being constantly connected can add stress.
Instead of checking social media or the news at night, dedicate some time to relaxing activities. Try using relaxation techniques, such as progressive muscle relaxtion, to calm your body and mind. Along with relaxation techniques, you may benefit from cognitive-behaviour therapy, which gives you tools to manage negative thoughts that run through your mind at night.
Are lifestyle factors keeping you up?
When your world feels turned upside down, your daily life probably looks a little different from what you’re used to. This is a time when it is easy to slip into comfort foods and drop healthy routines like exercise but doing that may make sleep troubles worse. Exercising is one of the best ways to calm anxiety and sleep better. What you eat and drink also matters. Anything that has caffeine, lots of fat, spice or sugar can keep you from sleeping well.
Changing things like what you eat at night may seem trivial compared to the feelings of grief, but these small changes can make a big different Along with these daily habits, relaxing at night gives your body and mind a break. All these strategies work together to help you ‘tune out’ negative thoughts and truly unwind for better sleep.
From an article by Fisher Funerals
